I had sushi and tea with my guys last night. We talked and just sharpened each other. I praise Him so much for giving me solid Brothers in Christ who can keep me accountable , who can build me and encourage me in my walk with Christ.
One of my brothers were dealing with the issue of pursuing Marriage, the other brother is dealing with pursuing a relationship with someone, while I’m dealing with the issue of, ‘How do I tell her that I’m not so interested or even ready to be in a relationship, in a way that I’m not hurting her feelings.’
I’m not gonna go into details of how our sharpening went down last night, But I will give a passage in 1Corinthians7 that really spoke to us.
Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
What Apostle Paul is saying is that being single is a GIFT and being married is another GIFT. Being single means you are not married. There’s no such thing as, Gift of ‘going out’ you are either single or married. To endure singleness and to use it to the fullest by serving God with out the worries of being married is indeed a gift. To be married and raise a godly family and lead and love your wife same way Christ loved you is a gift.
In the midst of that, all of a sudden the Holy Spirit just gave me the answer through Scriptures on how to approach my ‘situation’ and what are my reasons of saying ‘I’m not interested.’ I realized I have so much on my plate. I’m going to school, I have a 30hrs/week job, I have a worship discipleship training, a worship internship to become a worship pastor etc.
and then it hit me. ‘God has specifically put me in this season and He has given me the gift of singleness.’
Doesn’t mean that I’m gonna be single forever, it just means, God’s utilizing this very season to help me grow as a Man, as a Leader and to know the joys of serving Him with an undivided attention.
So I decided that for this whole entire year, I’m giving up any idea of ‘possibility of pursuance’. Although I’ve been single for 5 years now, from time to time, I can’t help but say in my mind, ‘Maybe she could be a possibility’. Starting this March2012 all the way to next year March2013, I will make a covenant with God that not even a HINT of ‘maybe’ will not be existing. I will dedicate this season that I’m in just solely for growing and serving Him.
And then my brothers asked, ‘So what if over the course of this year, what If God brings someone in the midst of your season, and you both just have a total attraction for each other, but you made a covenant, now what?’
My reply was:
if ever that happens, I’ll simply just tell her - ‘I’m really interested in you, but I’m in this covenant with God and I’ve dedicated this year to serving and growing but if you feel like God’s called you to wait for me, and as pray and ask God’s wisdom, and you think I’m worth the wait, then wait for me. After the whole year is over, then we’ll talk. But for now, my focus is completely centered on God.
At the end of the day, ‘relationships’ can wait but the urgency to grow in Christ and to serve Him and to have a rock-solid relationship with Him is urgent and important.